Sometimes our Greatest Strength can be our Greatest Weakness

Sometimes our Greatest Strength can be our Greatest Weakness

   Just like Mary of Bethany. Her compassionate heart found her at the feet of Jesus when her sister Martha was to busy. Her tender heart found herself washing the feet of her Savior with perfume and her hair. But that same heart also hit it's max when her brother Lazarus dies. She is done, she can’t even pull herself together to go and meet Jesus when she hears He is there. 

John 11:20 “When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet Him, but Mary stayed at home."

Mary's powerful emotional capacity was both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. -Rebecca Faires

     I know this all to well. My big brilliant mouth, can bring people to Jesus and kiss my sweet babies. But that same mouth can get me into a whole lotta trouble. We need to be cautious that although we may find one area as a major strength for us, that same exact strength can sometimes take it to far (to the max), and we find ourselves with the opposite results of what we were hoping for. 

     This is just another area that we need to submit to the Lord and pray for his guidance, and in my case FILTER. :) The Lord WILL help you to better notice when this strength that He has blessed you with could potentially become a hinderance or problem. Lets not let things go to far. Lets stop and evaluate, pray for God to reveal to you where maybe this is occurring. And lets change it before we hit our MAX. 

Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” NLT

     So as you can see in Romans 8:28. He WILL cause EVERYTHING to work together for the good, when we fully submit it to Him. Even my mouth that can sometimes be unfiltered or just not connected to my brain in moments, He CAN and WILL use for the good. 

     Now this is just my scenario. All of ours look different. But they all point back in the same direction. We need to allow God to work through our weaknesses, and submit it all to Him. He has gifted us all with strengths, and trust me it was not by mistake. We just need to pray for God to keep us aware of when that same strength, could also become a weakness. 

Beyond Measure

I seriously don't know how I ever got so lucky to be blessed with 2 of the sweetest boys. God has completely blessed me beyond measure. As everyone close to us knows, that Evan my oldest son (who will be 7 in November!!! Waaahhhhh can't believe it) was born with a very rare Chromosome Abnormality. 

When Evan was born on November 11th, 2008. His father and myself fell head over heels in love with him. He was literally THE sweetest thing we had ever laid our eyes on. 7 lbs. 10 oz. of pure perfection, straight from heaven! After Evan was a couple months old, I began to realize he wasn't seeming to meet the milestones that were mentioned in everything I read. I became concerned and asked my pediatrician (at the time). He assured me that everything was completely fine, and that the worst thing I could do was compare him to other children. 

When Evan was about 8 months, I just knew in my spirit that something was wrong. I insisted that my pediatrician figure out what was going on. At this time Evan was 8 months and only had just rolled from his back to his belly for the first time. (Which, once his little brother came along in summer of 2011, he did this at 5 weeks of age!!) He was not at all trying to sit up or even really hold his head up. He up to this point was really like a newborn baby. He would not make eye contact with people, besides Kurt and myself. He would space off for long periods of time at lights. We had no idea what was going on and FINALLY my pediatrician admitted he had no idea either and that if I insisted we would get a second opinion. 

This was September of 2009. We went for a second opinion and met the most amazing pediatrician out there!! I fell in love with her instantly, especially her, get it done personality. She assessed Evan one time, had another pediatrician come in and assess him as well. She came to me and was so sweet and sensitive. She pretty much said there is definitely something going on and the best thing we can do is figure out what it is so that we can do everything we can to get Evan the help he needed right away. 

The next couple of weeks we had blood tests done, and sent off to specialist in another state. We were finally contacted in January of 2010 by the Chromosomal specialist who wanted to see us and show us her findings. Kurt couldn't get the day off work so my Mom went along with Evan and I. During this time we had many people question wether Evan was autistic or not. I was pretty much sure that, that was what was going to come back. 

We went and met the specialist and she informed us that it took her and her team the past 4 months worth of research to find what it was that Evan had. She explained that there is not much information on it at all because of its rarity. She told us that when Evan was forming in the womb (the womb that God formed and fashioned Him in with plans and purposes for his little life) that when his chromosomes were separating that his 11th chromosome took some of his 19th chromosome. She said that they called it 19q deletion. 

Obviously my Mommy heart only had one absolute concern right away and that was wether or not this would affect his life span or health in any way!!? She said that Evan is only the 5th know person to ever be diagnosed with this exact abnormality. She said with the other cases only one who had a heart murmur. Any of the other things were none life threatening such as cleft lips, deafness, and blindness. She wanted Evan seen for a Echo of his heart to rule out any murmur. 

Evan had a Echo of his heart done the summer of 2011. Everything came back completely clear!! We were so relieved and thrilled. They said Evan was actually the most slight case (from what they could find) out of the other 4! They said that they found findings that a lot of babies with any abnormality like Evans was miscarried in the first trimester. God had other plans for my little miracle baby! 

I do remember when Evan was first diagnosed and finding out that he didn't have autism, being struck with complete fear. I knew that autism was so much more common and felt like people knew the outcome and what to expect a lot more. This was when I realized that it did not matter what any Doctor says about my child. Without little to no research to reassure me of anything, I needed to rely fully on God for the outcome, and nothing or no one else.

God literally took me through the grievance process in a weeks time. I seriously had a different emotion each day. First was denial, "this can't be right, not my baby." This emotion came before Evan was ever even diagnosed. Then right after being diagnosed I was in the blame stage, "they should have given me a cesarean section sooner, he was stuck for too long, its all their fault." This was the point where I also got mad, "How dare them risk my babies health." Then I got sad, I remember just laying on the floor beside Evan reading scripture over him and just bawling my eyes out praying that he would be able to at least pick up his head. Then on the final day of the week I had acceptance. I felt like I woke up that morning, looked at Evan and decided me crying and worrying about this was not going to help him at all. God made him perfect and God would use this all for His good. In the meantime I need to get Evan all the help he needs. 

I can honestly say that ever since that day, I have had so much complete peace with this! (I'm not saying I don't have a hard day here and there). But God is so so good and I know that HE with his own hands formed Evan in my womb and knew every single thing about him way before then. I remember Kurt getting really upset a lot of times, about wether or not Evan would ever walk, talk, understand. Wether Kurt would ever be able to take him fishing. I remember saying to Kurt, "we cried thinking he would never sit, or crawl" (at this time he had began doing both). "So don't worry he will do everything, just in his own time." 

This really was the beginning of my faith journey. God grew and strengthened my faith so much through Evan. I literally some days think He definitely gave me Evan to save me from myself. Before this time, I always believed in God but never had a reason to really have to rely on God. In this I could rely on nothing but God! 

I am so proud to announce that Evan is an absolutely amazing, sweet, tender hearted, people loving, talking, walking, running, reading, writing, and lover of Jesus, 6 1/2 year old! He brightens my world every single day and all the lives of everyone around him! I still don't know why I ever deserved him, but I am so so grateful that God choose to bless me beyond measure!

Psalm 139: 1-5 & 13-16

 "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. For YOU created my inmost being; YOU knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I AM fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was NOT hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

  

Offense

Offense is something that God has worked on with me tremendously in the past year. I was always (embarrassingly enough) that person who, if you would offend me I would just never speak to you again. Im sure this was a defense mechanism that I had built over time from being hurt. Feeling like if you hurt me once then I would never again give you the chance to do it again.

I wouldn't say I necessarily got offended super easily. But sometimes I would definitely read into the situation way more than I needed to. Leaving me questioning and feeling offended. 

The day that God gave me the revelation that offense is a choice was such a break through for me. We CHOOSE, like many other things to be offended or not. We don't have to sit in offense and hurt. 

I began implementing this right away. And trust me God has definitely tested this a few times in the past year in my life. Someone offended me almost instantly. In that moment I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, you have a choice to make. Whew!! I in that moment choose to give it to God and let go of the offense. I was hurt for a second but choose to not sit in that. I began right away just showing kindness to that person. 

The most amazing things happened after I made that choice. God took over and I swear I haven't even felt like I have had to work on it. Choosing in that instant to give it to God has been so freeing! I have seen this person multiple times since then, and I am telling you, I almost forget that she ever even offended me. I feel the same way about her now as I did before the offense even came. Its as if it never happened. 

This is only one instance, I have had so many things just like this happen since then. I can't explain the freedom that comes along with knowing that it doesn't matter who offends me, I don't have to be offended. And the instant peace that washes over you toward that person when you truly choose with all your heart to forgive and not be offended. God blesses our obedience, and we are called to forgive one another and have grace for one another. When we obey God with this, he takes over and does the hard work for us. 

Colossians 3: 12-15 "Therefore, as Gods chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."

Another thing that God showed me during this time. God already professed in Matthew 16: 18 "On this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it." So satan already knows he can not just come and take over the Church. But what he does do is, he works through the people. One offense & one un-forgiveness at a time. If we allow ourselves to be offended then we are allowing the devil to get a little wedge in there. We can not allow this to happen. 

We need to renew our mind and strength daily with the living Word of God. The more that we practice not taking offense the easier it becomes. Choose right away in that second that you are going to give the offense to God, that you will not allow it to root bitterness and hurt in your heart, and trust me God will bless you in and through this. 

Where are you choosing to Dwell?

I have heard many people say, and I myself have said for many years, “I can’t help it, I’m just a worrier.” This is not the truth, the truth is we choose to worry because we don’t yet know how to trust God in every circumstance. We become good at worrying because we practice it. And the truth is we can in the same way become good at trusting God if we practice it. We need to let our first response in any situation be to trust God. We choose what we dwell in, and today we need to dwell in the shelter of the Most High. Not the lies and worries of the world. 

Psalm 91:1-2 1 “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadows of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’"

Fortress- A large fortified place, A place of exceptional security.

Whatever we choose to dwell in becomes our fortress and our fortress is what surrounds and covers us. If we choose to dwell in negativity and fear then that is exactly what will surround us. We need to dwell on God and his word so that we may be surrounded by Him. 

Im am telling you, my life has changed miraculously since I have learned to rely on God in many circumstances rather then dwell in fear and worry. There is freedom and we don’t have to live lives confined to fear and worry. 

It seems that there is always something to worry about in todays world. I am learning that sometimes being able to rest in His peace requires me to cling to his promises and His Word. Rather than the facts and opinions of this world. We need to stand on what God and His Word says. Sometimes we need to speak of things that aren't, as if they are. We need to have faith to believe that God will follow through with what he has said. 

It is so easy to look at the world and our circumstances, rather then to God and His promises. But I am telling you this is vital! We need to look to Gods Word and what he has said, before we ever look at our circumstances. 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Lets choose today to find our comfort and shelter in Him. Nothing else in this world will ever fill and satisfy us like the love of The Lord. Lets be intentional today to spend time with and rest in His mighty power and strength.